My Journey from Death to Life
“…that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.”
(1 Peter 2:9b)
Being only fifteen years old many may think that I have not lived yet or I’m still just a child with her whole life ahead of her, which I am. However, I am old enough to decide what’s right and what’s wrong, and it’s my decision to do what’s right in the eyes of my Heavenly Father or I can do what’s sinful in His sight.
Being a False Convert
July 10th, 2011 was the day that my eyes were truly opened for the first time. Before that time I was what you call a false convert. I had not truly been born again by the Holy Spirit. Regeneration had not yet taken place in me.
My father got saved in 2007. At that time I was just coming out of 5th grade. Worldliness had already been planted in me. When I started 6th grade my father had joined CRCC in 2008 a year after my mother and was growing rapidly in God’s word. However as my father and mother began to apply God’s Word to our lives I began my three year course of secret rebellion.
By the end of my 6th grade year I had already had a so-called “boyfriend”. During 6th and 7th grade I was hanging out at a friend’s house after school without my parents’ permission or knowledge. There were times when what I had on when I left the house was not what I had on during school hours. I then carried this on to my final year of middle school. It was during 8th grade that I got my immature heart caught up in some boy who had no intentions of being my husband. The relationship did not last long but consequently during the rest of the school year I was emotionally attached to him although I’ve never been physically intimate.
Battle with Conviction
At the end of my 8th grade year Pastor McLeod was pushing D6 and Family Integration. So, with school being out, I no longer had the ungodliness at school that continued to pressure me to live sinfully. Consequently I began feeling convicted during his sermons and at home during family devotion. I would repent and think to myself “God will forgive me” but yet I still felt convicted. It was because I was not truly broken over my sins and I wasn’t trying to turn from my evil ways. During the summer it began to get harder to keep a straight face when we talked about purity because I knew that I had kissed a boy and my lips were not physically pure. It was painful to talk about the ungodliness at school when I knew in my heart that I took part in it. But most of all I could not bear to talk about death and hell when I knew I was not truly converted and hell was where I was headed.
So on the evening of July 10, 2011 I laid in my bed thinking about all the “dirt” that I had accumulated during my three years of middle school. I picked up my bible hoping it would comfort me but it only made my burden heavier. I soon realized that I was a sinner and that … unforgiven and unrepentant sinners go… to…hell. As hell became a reality in my mind, tears began to form in my eyes. I was feeling true brokenness over my sins. Right at that moment my mother entered the room and that began the process of my regeneration.
Regeneration through the Holy Spirit
Regeneration: is the work of the Holy Spirit in a person, thus enabling him or her to love and follow God. (ESV Student Study Bible Glossary) 2nd Corinthians 15:17 says; “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old is passed away; behold, the new has come.” Revealing to my parents all that I had done was tough. I knew I had disappointed my parents greatly, but I also know that their disappointment is outweighed by the joy that they have in seeing a new transformed and regenerated daughter slowly but surely taking a stand for Christ.
Now that I am moving closer to God I have to distance myself away from worldliness. Romans 12:2(a) says: “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind…” This is really important because all through middle school I was trying my very best to fit in, but then there is 1st Corinthians that says: “bad company corrupts good character”.
Now I must with God’s help reconstruct my thinking. I was used to thinking that church was overrated. I was used to thinking that it was weird that my Father talked about God to anybody, anytime. I was used to thinking that the way I was living was okay with a Holy God who hates sin and that He would just let me into Heaven with a warning. WRONG!! Romans 6:23 says: “For the wages of sin is death…” but thank the Lord for the latter part of that verse! “…but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord!!”
Here I am fifteen years old and I can confidently say that my name is in the Book of Life. (Revelations 20:12) I won’t be on the casualty list with the seventy to eighty percent of college students who have left the faith by their freshman year of college. One more child set free from the strongholds of the Black Gate is wonderful. Sadly the percentages are still high, Satan is still out there setting traps to steal, kill, and destroy. (John 10:10a) So parents, I am urging that you get to know who your child really is because he/she sitting in church does NOT make them a Christian any more than sitting in a garage makes you a car. My parents had no clue because everyday I was coming home putting on a mask so that they couldn’t see the lost sinner hiding inside.
I am just thankful for my very supportive family, Pastor McLeod’s faithful obedience to God and the D6 Reformation. This is my testimony of how Christ literally did a 180 in my life. Before I used to think the Bible was uninteresting, but now it is the standard in my life that I do my very best to live up to. Teens like me are not too far gone, it’s not too late, and they are never too far for God to reach them. Never. What I have done may not seem like a big deal compared to other worldly teens, but on Judgment Day I along with many others who don’t accept Christ would have been classified as: Enemies of God. (Revelations 20:15)
Each day I am trying to grow deeper in my relationship with Christ. I know I’ll never be able to grasp who He is entirely, but learning about Him and His commandments for my life causes me to have a thirst for His Word. My father gives me books to read that help strengthen my walk with God and now that I am homeschooled my mother now incorporates Bible history in our lessons. Again I am so thankful for the D6 Reformation and the transformation of families and I encourage all who read this (if you don’t already) to include D6 in your family and watch God turn your whole family upside down. (In a good way of course) J
“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide, and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads those to life, and those who find it are few.
** This blog was originally written for the Deuteronomy 6 Reformation Blog in January of 2012. **